For Christmas I Want Santa To Stop Touching Me
by Tysonkaiexperiment
Summary: Complete! Christmas gift for Chronos Mephistopheles. Neku thought it was troublesome enough that he has to dress like a girl and join Shiki for pictures with Santa. It then got worse as they swapped Santa's on him just as it was their turn. Light JoshNeku


Hey guys! I know, you thought I was all on hiatus (and I still am) and you're wondering why I'm here. Well, this is a gift fic for my mental-sister, Chronos Mephistopheles, also known as Cloudsgrl on deviantart. If you haven't already you should read all her works, they're amazing and beautifully written—much better than I can do, I assure you.

**Title**—For Christmas I Want Santa To Stop Touching Me  
**Author**—Tysonkaiexperiment  
**Characters/Pairings**—Josh/Neku, Shiki, Eri & Mr. H.  
**Warnings/Rating**—PG-13/T mostly because of Neku's occasional potty mouth and gutter-mind; and he disses Beat once.  
**Notes**—Shounen-ai, I couldn't find a way to make it yaoi, sorry.  
**Summary**—Christmas gift for Cloudsgrl/Chronos Mephistopheles. Neku thought it was troublesome enough that he has to dress like a girl and join Shiki for pictures with Santa. It then got worse as they swapped Santa's on him just as it was their turn. Light JoshNeku.

X.X.X.X

**For Christmas I Want Santa To Stop Touching Me**

X.X.X.X

He couldn't believe he was sitting here, even listening to their claims of _trouble_.

Shiki was frowning at him from his right, her eyes dull even behind her glasses. Mr. Mew—the stuffed toy she made that helped them first meet—was clutched firmly in her grasp. She'd squeeze it whenever she couldn't get her voice to work, mostly whenever she was afraid to answer his questions.

Eri was standing right in front of him, arms folded and attitude unfazed by his demeanor. The next moment she had a hand on her hip while the other flipped her hair behind her shoulder, "It's only for a few hours, Neku, less than a day."

Neku stood strong though, frown in place and eyebrows furrowed, "And why would I ever want to dress as a girl and sit on Santa's lap?"

Shiki opened her mouth then, as if finding her ground, "I'll be with you Neku, please? It's just that none of our other friends are photogenic—" here he went to cut her off but she frowned even deeper and his jaw shut, "—Every photo of you Eri's ever shot has been amazing, even when you try to screw it up on purpose, and you know it."

Neku's eyes flew towards the wall to their left, several of Eri's photographs hung there, a 'Monument of Amazingness' as she dubbed it. There was a photo of him from when he had been practicing a new style with his spray cans, not even noticing the camera until Eri had already been snapping the shot. His right arm was stretched upward towards the top of his canvas while the left had been outward trying and failing to cover his face from the camera. His right leg was supporting all his weight as his left was bent at the knee from trying to reach the top.

"I don't see the problem." Eri interrupted, forcing his eyes to trail back to her, "Shiki will be with you and dressed up as well, it's the little mall out of Shibuya so anyone recognizing you is slim to none, and you can change right after. You'll only be in the outfit for three, maybe four hours at most."

"I still don't see a reason." Was his only reply, expression not changing.

"I'll pay you." Eri muttered, hands balling into fists as if she didn't want to do what she promised, "And if you don't I'll tell Beat who really filled his shoes with paint."

The color didn't drain from Neku's face, but even his annoyed face went blank at the thought of it. It's not like he meant to spill paint in Beat's shoes, it was the blond's fault for leaving them in the way instead of putting them in his locker. When he couldn't speak Shiki had covered for him and he never found the time to honestly just apologize and admit to it.

"Fine." He sighed, allowing Eri to squeal in joy and Shiki to send him a happy but thankful smile. Neku gave a slight smile back, his best friend's attitude contagious.

X.X.X.X

Neku fidgeted in his seat, clutching at the hem of his skirt and tugging it downwards even though no one could see since he was sitting in the back of Eri's car. Eri was driving, clothed in a dark pink top and hip-hugging light jeans; she was carrying an air about her that told Neku she would use her female influence to get her way today.

Shiki sat in the backseat next to him, Mr. Mew resting on her lap and covering the slim black skirt that went to her knees, she was too busy toying with the white tank top and body-fitting washed-out green jacket to notice it slipping. Her glasses were off, tucked safely in Eri's bag and Neku felt bad for his nervous best friend, but was also proud she was handling it calmly.

He wasn't fairing much better sadly, he wanted to rip the clothes off and the only thing stopping him was the fact that Eri wouldn't allow him to wear anything except his boxers underneath. As if knowing he was thinking evil thoughts of her, she paused from applying lip gloss at a red light to offer some to him. He glared at her and she grinned back, letting the item drop into the cup holders near her as the light turned green.

Instead of drilling holes in the back of her head, Neku had turned to his own outfit in hopes he could figure out a way to hide most of it. Eri had the bright idea of posing Santa with an innocent girl and a naughty girl, Neku didn't even want to know what kind of naughty things she meant with this outfit.

The petticoat skirt ended half an inch under his thighs, the black silk covered by a layer of black lace, a white petticoat peaking out from below. The designs on the black lace inspired the ones on the small form-fitting jacket, white curves and swirls decorating the front without it looking out of place. Under it was a white blouse with ruffles around the collar, the flowing sleeves reaching his wrists as the jacket's reached his elbow. A black choker with a white bell completed the look, matching the washed-out green choker with black bell around Shiki's neck.

Shiki rested a hand on his forearm, silently offering her support to her best friend. When asked why she couldn't wear the 'naughty' outfit she replied she didn't have the legs for it, Eri had then chucked him into the bathroom with the outfit.

The car screeched to a stop, Neku hadn't even noticed their arrival or Eri's dodging and wheeling as she tried to beat people to a front spot on a busy Saturday. He somewhat had to thank her horrific driving skills, this meant he'd be in the costume less. But unfortunately he still had to get through the main area of the mall, dodging whistling guys, groping hands, and curious girls asking for style tips.

The trio had reached the Santa display where it rested on the bottom floor; Neku busy eyeing everyone to make sure he didn't recognize anyone. When he couldn't see anyone he turned back to the girls, Eri had approached the cashier and photographer as a mother was attempting to coo the crying little girl currently sitting on Santa's lap. Shiki was standing next to him and putting on a light coat of Chap Stick, usually it helped her calm down if she was occupied by anything within reach. Once he calmed her down by giving her his headphones and letting her attempt to read the near-invisible print on the side.

Eri came back, camera slung over one shoulder and grin wide, she obviously won her battle. For a moment she glanced at Shiki and the Cap Stick before she pointed Neku's gaze to the Santa. Even from his place in line he could see the sobbing little girl kicking her legs and tugging the white beard down; Neku's inner child thanked everyone that the people waiting in line were teens and young women looking to regain childhood memories instead of kids. Black stubble began appearing, Santa frowning as his neck craned and the hat and wig attachment began to slide off his head to reveal tuffs of black hair.

"Santa doesn't mind, apparently." The pink-haired girl muttered, "They think he's asexual, he's never shown an interest in anyone so you should be safe."

"Should be?" Neku muttered, eyebrows lowering in confused anger but she didn't pay him any attention.

"Shiki, leave the Chap Stick alone for a moment." Eri hissed, lightly tugging her friend close so they were huddled together, "It doesn't matter how you guys pose, as long as it suits your character." They had characters now? "Try your best or else you'll stay in the outfit longer, and I'm pointing that comment at you Neku."

Neku snorted and spun on his heel, a bit difficult in Mary Janes with thick soles, but he accomplished it. The heel of Shiki's short boots followed, and she sent him a smile as Eri began muttering to herself about several poses she could suggest. "You'll be okay Neku."

Honestly he was more worried about her, even though he knew he shouldn't since Shiki tending to be a natural. She wasn't a model but she took the most amazingly gorgeous soothing pictures. Admittedly he enjoyed looking at his best friend's photos; his favorite was one of them together, walking on a beach with shoes in hand. Just like he helped Shiki with her nervousness she helped sooth him; Eri mentioned once she thought they were related, they acted in perfect harmony with each other.

Finally the mom realized how futile it was and plucked the girl from Santa's lap, apologizing to everyone before walking off with the hiccupping child. And in just a few moments Neku realized they were suddenly the second group in line; he was fidgeting as afternoon began to settle in and more teenagers came from every direction. Whether it was girls shopping in groups or guys coming to check out the girls he could feel eyes on them and it was making him jumpy.

One of the aids dressed as an elf helped Santa off his throne before she announced him a five minute break. Eri suggested they go to the food court and grab a bite to eat but Neku demanded to stay firmly in place so more people wouldn't see him. Amused, Eri nodded and left by herself to grab them snacks, giving Shiki her camera to fiddle with in the meantime.

After three minutes the female elf helped Santa back in his seat and Shiki texted Eri as Neku focused on the man now sitting there.

"Shiki." He suddenly muttered, grabbing her attention as she was slipping her cell back in Eri's bag, "Does Santa look different to you?"

She paused, eyes narrowing in thoughtfulness before nodding, "He's shorter, he doesn't reach the gold designs on the back of the throne anymore. Maybe they just switched him out? We'll have to ask Eri when she returns."

Eri returned just as the group in front of them left with their card of when to come back, she seemed unfazed and had simply shrugged without even addressing the new Santa. When they were allowed in Neku found Eri pushing him towards Santa with a somewhat amused Shiki trailing behind.

"Now, now Santa!" The girl laughed with one arm around Neku's shoulders and the other around Shiki's, "You get two girls this time, hopefully one of them can keep their hands off you." She kicked Neku in the shin but no one seemed to notice among all the fake presents lying around.

With that she shoved both towards Santa and took several steps back while readying her camera. Shiki muttered a quick hello to the sitting man who muttered one back, but even from under the hideous make-up and accessories Neku could see those pale purple eyes focused on him.

As soon as Eri turned to the photographer to find out where she was allowed to move around, Santa sent Neku a glance and a simple greeting. "Hi." Was all he grit out, hands balled into fists to avoid ruining the lace on the skirt just before the photo. Shiki sent him a look of confusion but he ignored her in favor of staring Santa down.

A staring match with Santa, Beat would be in tears yelling at how he'd hurt the old man's feelings.

"What's your name?" Santa asked innocently, as if amused by how long Eri seemed to be drawing this out.

"I'm… Neka." Neku lied, shooting Shiki a look when she gave an amused smile. "That's Shiki."

"What do you want for Christmas this year, Neka?"

One reddish-orange eyebrow rose and Neku's lips pursed into another frown, "I don't think that's any of your business."

"You better be nice to Santa." Shiki muttered toying-ly; Neku knew this was one of her favorite holidays. "Or else you'll get coal in your stocking."

"Yeah." Santa smirked towards her and she smiled back, all Neku could think of was that a Santa should _not_ smirk because it just looked _weird_. "We don't want that, do we Neka?"

"Alright, give me a pose!" Eri called from several steps away, removing the cover from her lens.

Shiki rested herself on the arm of the golden throne, her pale hand holding an area of the decal as Neku debated sitting on the other side to complete the pose. But before he could choose a pose or have Eri give him one, Neku felt a hand tug gently on the back of his jacket, next thing he knew he was sitting on one of Santa's knees. One of his legs was hooked around the bottom of the chair for weight support while the other wove it's way in between Santa's legs.

Eri squealed her support of the pose and began snapping pictures, even when Neku reached below his own legs to make sure his skirt was tugged down.

He could've sworn Santa giggled, actually fucking giggled, but the man's hand rested gently on his side and out of the corner of his eye Neku could see one of Shiki's hands rest on Santa's hat before another flash went off.

Suddenly Eri demanded a new pose and Shiki asked permission to join Neku on Santa's lap, it was granted and she gracefully sat on his other knee, knees pressed together as she smiled adorably as if it would give Neku support.

Neku, being used to Eri's photos even if this was the first in drag, unconsciously adjusted himself so that his legs intertwined with Shiki's. Unlike Shiki, whose arm was resting on Santa's shoulders, Neku's were placed firmly in his lap, refusing to touch the man.

But it seemed Santa had no problems touching him, the man's hand was laid against the lower half of his back, thumb running soothing circles on the hidden part of his hip. He resisted the urge to shiver as the cameras flashed; Shiki seemed to sense his discomfort and reached across lightly to take his hand. It had calmed him and he had unknowingly relaxed into Santa's grip, causing another giggle and Neku to tense again.

Suddenly Shiki got up and placed Neku on the small space of chair between Santa's legs; as soon as his bottom hit the red velvet cushion she sat on the floor in front of him as if helping cover the skirt. He mentally thanked her but couldn't do much except feel the man's hand still firmly touching him. Instead of the thumb rubbing small circles the hand was laying flat on his side, fingers sliding and stretching almost as a massage.

Eri had pulled Shiki away, commenting about single photos and Neku now found himself on one of Santa's knees with one of his legs on the opposite knee and the other resting on the floor below them. Santa seemed unfazed, a candy cane from Neku-knows-where in hand as if he were presenting it to the boy. He could almost hear Eri giggling about it later, how Santa wouldn't give Neka what she always wanted, Santa himself, and the man gave her the candy cane in hopes Neka wouldn't be too sad.

It was then Neku realized he needed to either find new friends or just dump all his current ones as a whole.

"You never told me what you wanted for Christmas." Santa muttered as Eri looked over the newest pictures to give him time to get into another pose.

Neku said nothing, realizing how close he was to finishing. He took the chance to sit on the floor at Santa's feet, resting his hands on the man's knees and reminding himself this would be the last set and he'd be in the clear. The girls that were in line behind them were giggling and commenting about the great idea Eri had, they were so loud he was sure all of the first floor could hear them.

He could feel pale violet eyes watching him, a light-colored hand reaching down to rub Neku's scalp a few times. He nearly gave in, eyes slipping closed for just a second before he remembered where he was. As soon as his eyes slipped open he realized what he'd done and opened them fully, but it had been too late as Eri looked accomplished of catching his half-lidded eyes and calm expression.

The moment Eri mentioned Shiki could replace Neku he bolted, grabbing Eri's bag as she held it out for him to run past. He made it all the way to the car without much trouble; it seemed to be so fast no one could look up the skirt since it was little more than a blur at the time.

Less than five minutes later he was done changing, leaning against the car door and sighing before he'd make his way back to the girls and that evil Santa.

"That was quite a change, Neka."

The boy whirled, he'd been in the middle of putting on his headphones as the voice spoke and as soon as it did he let go. The headphones snapped back and hit him on the sides of his head; he gave himself a moment to groan in pain before he looked towards the speaker.

A pale boy stood there, though Neku couldn't really call him a boy as they were the same height and the other actually looked a little older. The other had a hand to the side of his face, playing with a lock of silvery hair as his pale purple eyes rested on Neku's blue ones.

And he _giggled_.

The bag slipped from Neku's limp grasp and his mouth opened and closed several times but nothing came out. For a moment nothing was said, Neku's eyes still trained on the other and brain officially meeting Beat's wherever brains went when they moved on.

Still rolling a lock of silvery hair between his forefinger and thumb, the other reached down to grab the bag before standing straight and holding it out. "You should be more careful with ladies things, they could have breakables."

"Santa!" Came Neku's voice, it nearly cracked in shock and the boy gave an amused smirk. Now that there was no beard, curly white wig, or questionably large white eyebrows it was quite sexy, and Neku nearly wanted to smack himself for even having the thought. "Don't you have photos to be taking?"

"I only filled in for Sanae that one time, he jumped at the chance to take a break and I couldn't deny an interest.." His shoulders rolled in a nonchalant shrug before he smirked again, "Though I lost interest the moment someone in a petticoat skirt ran away from me."

Even with the collar of his shirt covering him, Neku was sure the other could see the flush rising to his face.

"Now." The other released his lock of hair and stepped forward, leaning close enough so Neku could smell the mint on his breath, "Tell Santa Joshua what you want for Christmas, Neka?"

"It's Neku." He answered automatically before kicking himself mentally for giving his name to someone like this 'Joshua' in front of him. But he leaned forward, close enough so their noses were nearly brushing, and his eyes narrowed as best as they could at that point in time.

"For Christmas I want Santa to stop touching me."

And he spun on his sneakers and walked away, refusing to give in to the giggling as the other followed.

X.X.X.X

This was actually my first finished and posted TWEWY fic, so please go easy on me. And I haven't written a fic in a while on top of it.

I hope you all enjoy and have a merry Christmas!

Please head to my livejournal (my screen name is rikusora_chan) for any future fanfictions!


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